SWORDS

In the heart of Europe, a little bit to the south, I am typing this. Correction: I am typing and deleting this, typing and deleting this, typing and deleting this. This is one of those posts which have occupied my drafts for the last few months. Each word in this post has been trying to find a meaning they can call their own but sometimes things just don’t work that way.  Everything would be easier if we were all able to talk through our feelings, through no words. Words were made to limit us, I once read. But with no words, there would be no ambiguities and misunderstandings. And, come on, ambiguities and misunderstandings, at many points, often also trigger us to develop. So, what’s the limit anyway? I am writing this mostly because of my upcoming birthday. Birthdays are always filled with questions. The questions use to change from “what present do I get for my birthday?” to “what have I achieved up to this birthday?” We also change the address we send the questions to,...

Dahulu kala semesta diciptakan bersamaan dengan dua roh agung Siwarka dan Sakwari. Siwarka dapat bernyanyi dengan indah tiada tara, namun diciptakan tanpa indera pendengaran. Sementara Sakwari diciptakan bisu, namun memiliki pendengaran yang begitu hebat hingga dapat mendengar suara hingga yang paling lembut sekalipun. Sains hari ini mengelompokkan suara ke dalam tiga frekuensi; ultrasonik, audiosonik, dan infrasonik, dimana satu jenis spesies makhluk hidup hanya bisa mendengar salah satunya. Sakwari mendengar suara dalam frekuensi apapun, bahkan yang gelombangnya dapat menembus semua jenis alam. Sedangkan Siwarka, mengenali nada dan irama lewat getaran. Dari getarannya, ia ciptakan dan ia mainkan melodi yang paling indah yang siapapun bisa dengar. Siwarka dilahirkan di satu belahan semesta, sementara Sakwari di satu belahan lainnya, jaraknya mungkin berabad-abad, atau lebih. Siwarka tidak tahu dimana Sakwari, begitu juga Sakwari tidak tahu dimana Siwarka. Tapi dengan cara yang ta...

Ada sebuah perkataan soal New York, begini bunyinya: hidup di New York itu baru bakal sempurna kalau 3 hal sudah terpenuhi; rumah, pekerjaan, dan pasangan. Ini bukan New York sih, tapi 3 hal itu tetap penting buat hampir semua manusia. Rumah Lagi-lagi, pertanyaan soal rumah mengusik pikiran. Sejatinya sungguh sudah jelas, bahwa yang layak disebut rumah adalah sayur oyong buatan ibu dan nasi goreng buatan ayah. Kalimat itu tentu bukan untuk diterjemahkan literally ; maksudnya, cintaku yang sebesar itu terhadap sayur oyong dan nasi goreng tidak akanlah eksis tanpa juru masaknya yaitu ayah dan ibu. Maka dari itu, sungguh rumah bagiku adalah yang tercipta dari adanya ayah, dan adanya ibu. Yang lain, hanya tempat singgah. Tapi hidup kan tidak melulu begitu, hidup ini tak cuma melenggak-lenggok lembut seperti jogetan tradisional jawa, tapi juga ngebor seperti Mbak Inul. Keras. Belom selesai dengan satu hal, udah ditendang ke hal yang lain. Begitu terus. Tapi tendangan-ke-hal-lain itulah...

The idea of rescuing life, always triggers the question of worth. The Germans, except Ferdinand von Schirach , agree that human dignity is inviolable. But, why? I still shiver everytime I see the helicopter of the hospital where I work in landing upon the rooftop. It makes a very big noise and it wasted a lot of environment-unfriendly gas just to rescue one person. One single human body. Or when an ambulance drive through the town with an unimaginable speed. The emergency doctors and nurses would then be gathered at once. When the patient enters the room, things would begin to move fast, hectic but also structured and people would talk only when needed. Every second counts in that room. My job was, at first, to stay at the corner at the room, keeping my mouth shut and just do nothing. The first step is always observing. It was in the time of observing can you really see what's going on and what's worth to focus on. My first day in the emergency room forced me to think of th...

It is getting easier each day to think that the world is messed up. *** Where I live, a bird flock would murmur loudly every sunset and every dawn. Along to the murmur they would fly in circle. It doesn't actually look like a circle, it looks more like some chaotic and random flying maneuvers, but if you look a little bit closer it really looks like dancing. I just need to step out of my house door, then I’d see and hear it, the Vögelwaltz. Being late or too early is never in their agenda. They like their patterns and they like to live with it. Pattern is nature and nature is where our souls secretly want to go back to. But the current world doesn't seem to fancy the idea of nature and routine. It moves and changes flexibly, fastly, in the way that is often unimaginable. But somehow, these changes, they burn the passion inside of us. They keep us develop, it’s fun because what’s deviant is just always interesting and curiosity is also humane. But, there’s also pattern ...

“I always wonder why birds choose to stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth, then I ask myself the same question .” - Harun Yahya I showed my father the quote above about seven years ago then told him that the quote has really motivated me. I wanted not to be like those birds, I wanted to go away, experience and learn lots of things and this and that and everything. My dad smiled and said that maybe it wasn't supposed to be understood that way, maybe the quote wanted to tell us that you should stay. The birds were just some anecdote to tell us that nature wants us to stay. I didn't understand, or maybe I didn't want to. My wings were too big, they wanted to spread. "Rantau" is one of the old words in Bahasa Indonesia that I can't find in other languages and thus explains not only the activity that almost only the Indonesians do, but also the Indonesian culture itself. This word means leaving your home with the purpose to have a bett...

Who invented the idea to write names on the coffee cups you order? This idea is the most terrible idea one could have ever invented, thought a 27 years old white man named Sean White. Sean couldn't spell names right, except his and his mother's name. There was a gap in his developing phase which wasn't optimally supported, which plays a role in his lack of intelligence in spelling names or words at all. Sean was never good at languages. He speaks his mother language fluently, but he doesn't write. Writing is the worst. Sean can't spell right. He even spells "spell" with one L. That would be tolerable for some kid, but Sean isn't some kid. He has finished school, although not as the best, but he has finished school. He doesn't go to college, because he ruined the motivation letter with a lot of misspelled words. Instead of an acceptance letter, he got a recommendation letter to apply to some language school. He ended up working in a cafe, which is...

The meaning of freedom has shifted a little or the freedom has become overrated - I am not sure which of the two sentences presents my view towards freedom. A lot of (mostly young) people are shouting here there and everywhere in the world, demanding freedom. Some in social media, some on the streets with big posters, some in form of paintings or art installations and some in any other form you name it. You aren't a free person yet if you haven not got real drunk or smoke a pack of cigarette a day or behave defiantly. Supposed a 15 year-old-boy had run away from home because their parents wouldn’t allow him to smoke cigarettes. He felt imprisoned, then felt free the minute he finally had cigarettes in his hands. After some days or months he started having this addiction, both physically and psychologically. Now comes my question, does this addiction equals freedom? Does freedom means that he could smoke, or that if he weren’t addicted to smoking? I don’t have any idea how...

No heartbreaks could ever spontaneously magically be healed by condolences, chocolate, hugs or even empathies. I bet that there is at least one person who feels lonely in a crowded festive place like, let’s say, Times Square on New Year. Nothing’s wrong with having a broken heart, broken hopes or broken life. There are just some things that could never be fixed, forgotten, or magically disappear. At some point, there will be a point where we don't have any other choice other than to accept this fact. And then, things would be clear: everyone is broken inside and everyone knows that, we are all beautiful messes. Those dark sides are there to be embraced. In fashion, black matches with almost everything, black is a must-have. The darkest part in your life plays one of the biggest roles in the making of yourself, it's a must-experience. Remember Bran the Broken from Game of Thrones? I really like the idea of adding "The Broken" behind his name. It is like being tru...

There wouldn’t be 4 seasons in the world if the earth wasn’t tilted 23,5 o . Without this 23,5 o , there wouldn’t be winter jackets, sowing seeds in the garden in the spring, reaping it in the summer and wind in the autumn. 23,5 o is all that it takes to make a great different in how the world is moving, developing. I’m currently 23,5 years old, just as many degress the earth needs to make things a lot richer. And the number kind of hit me in the head, made me rethink – what kind of great differences have I made this far? I was laying on my bed when the thought came. Beside me was my laptop, showing Netflix. In my hands was a pack of my candy bears and I haven’t showered for 2 days. I smirked at myself, “you lazy ass.”