SWORDS

I’ve officially lost count on how many times have I tried to find a decent sentence to start this post. One of reasons to it is maybe because my teachers have talked too much about writing techniques, that there has to be an understandable flowing transition from sentence to sentence, paragraph to paragraph, which makes me think a lot more before I write anything. As one hell of an easily distracted person, that sure is quite a big deal for me. I guess I have just finally come to realize that I just have to write things down, no matter how shitty this post is gonna be then. It sure is much better than having so many words, emotions, and thoughts bouncing inside my head all at once for one more day. With all my heart, I really hate to admit to myself that I am currently facing a self-crisis, in which I have to be trapped inside deadly routines and postpone a little while again to do what Maslow believed, and what i agree, as human’s main need to be internally alive ; sel...

I can fluently narrate how things could easily fall apart, how two lovebirds could become strangers in a matter of seconds. I've witnessed many patterns of relationships: how they begin, how they affect our routines - and our heartbeats, and how they finally reach their last pages. But yet, for some reasons i still want to take this chance and risk my own self to possibly be broken, one more time. There are too many uncertainties and insecurities this guy and I must consequently encounter along the way, often we question each other of what is real and eventually grow even more anxious and fragile. But it is precisely when we’re anxious and fragile can we actually become brave and finally see the beauty in whatever we see and whatever we have. And to it he responded, "when you bite your tongue when you eat, it hurts, but do you blame the food? Or the teeth? Or the tongue? Or just let go and keep chewing?" I'll make sure that i'll keep chewing. __________...

"Underneath my outside face There's a face that none can see A little less smiley, A little less sure, But a whole lot more like me." - Shel Silverstein

Ada sebuah kata dalam Bahasa Jerman yang akhir-akhir ini mengusik kehampirtenangan jiwaku; (das) Fernweh. Merupakan antonim dari Heimweh (Homesick), Fernweh adalah rasa rindu akan hal yang bukan rumah, atau dalam kata lain: bepergian. Entah gimana asal mula terbentuknya kata ini, karena setahuku nggak ada terjemahan untuk Fernweh dalam bahasa lain. Bisa jadi kata ini dibentuk karena memang kebanyakan orang Jerman senang jauh-jauh dari rumah...? Bagaimanapun itu, rasanya kata Fernweh membuat arti sebuah rumah patut dikaji ulang. Seorang kenalan pernah bilang bahwa ia selalu merasa bahagia berada di tempat asing, dalam kata lain, sejauh dan selama mungkin dari rumah, negara, bahkan bahasa ibunya. Kira-kira, pada satu waktu, ingin nggak ya dia pulang ke suatu tempat familiar yang kebanyakan manusia sebut "rumah" Atau rumah baginya justru adalah perjalanan tanpa akhir? Dengan umur dan pengalaman hidup yang masih sedikit, definisi rumah bagiku adalah sebuah tempat dimana...

Kalau bepergian dengan budget ngepas, yang paling akan diingat kebanyakan orang pasti adalah untuk menghemat pengeluaran. Padahal, ada satu hal yang seharusnya lebih diutamakan dari itu; untuk tidak banyak berekspektasi! Jalan-jalan terbaruku sebetulnya nggak sepenuhnya cocok disebut jalan-jalan, lebih cocok disebut kabur, karena, pada faktanya, cuma kepingin lepas dari rutinitas yang gila ini walaupun hanya sebentar. Tanpa pikir panjang dan berhitung rapih soal berapa uang yang dibutuhkan, akhirnya berhasil juga menggeret Yolanda untuk pergi ke Pulau Seribu. Beberapa kali dia khawatir soal ini, apa uangnya cukup? Apa nanti aman disana? Apa nanti begini dan begitu? Tanpa dia tau, sebetulnya yang ditanya ngga lebih tau dari yang nanya, walaupun selalu jawab “santailah”. But, hey, when did we really know what we’re getting ourselves into anyway? Long story short, setelah keluar kelas jam 11 pada hari Sabtu, we’re off to Pelabuhan Muara Angke dengan angkot-kereta-bajaj. Saya...

It has been 2 fruitful years since i get myself out of one of the best times in my life; higschool. And so far i can blatantly say that the the line "highschool never ends" really gets it all right, because for some reasons i don't quite know, looking back to the shitty highschool drama i was once living is always somewhat entertaining. All the things that attached into my highschool times have taught me that, perhaps, we need to look at everything like it is something that we would miss. Once in a while, instead of capturing moments with digital cameras, we probably need to try to capture it with our head because there's nothing in this world that can remind you of something better than your mind does... am i right?  There's beauty in all that.

I kinda feel the need to share this. Have a good time, liebe Leute!

Berbahagialah mereka yang mati muda Makhluk kecil kembali dari tiada ke tiada Berbahagialah dalam ketiadaanmu - Soe Hok Gie

Coldplay - Everglow "There's a feeling within me, an everglow" Everything But The Girl - Downtown Train "Will i see you tonight on a downtown train?" Oasis - Don't Look Back In Anger "Don't you know you might find a better place to play?" Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons - I Make A Fool Of Myself "While you're collected and cool, i make a fool of myself" The Proclaimers - I Am On My Way "I am on my way to what i want from this world!" The Proclaimers - I Am Gonna Be (500 Miles) "I would walk 500 Miles, and i would walk 500 more, just to be the man who walks a thousand miles to fall down at your door" Carla Bruni - L'amour "L'amour pas pour moi, tous ces toujours, c'es pas net, ca joue des tours" Robbie Williams ft. Nicole Kidman - Something Stupid "But then i go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like i love you" ...