Heartbreak Survivors Are The Real Warriors

 

On my latest trip to Amsterdam, I saw I guy singing while he was riding his bike through the streets in a crowded city of Amsterdam. After wondering how it feels to have that kind of self-consciousness, I started to wonder, how would a person like that handle a heartbreak?

This blog contains a lot of heartbreaks. I’ve been blogging for about 10 years and have shared a lot of my personal heartbreaks and those of people around me in this blog of mine. Not always directly “you guys, my heart’s broken”, sometimes in other forms: stories, poems, or even happy poems and happy stories. Through those years, I acknowledged that heartbreak has a wider spectrum. It could happen not always in a relationship, but also in losing a friend, in hormonal changes, in rejections, in being totally afraid of not knowing what could happen next, in a massive confusion about life and all the possible meanings it may have.

Not only that, heartbreaks also showed me that it’s not about how heartbroken I am. I am certain that it is necessary to emphasize on that one because, at least from where I stand, it seems to me that we have turned the world into a place where we compete not only about being the best, but also being the worst. Anything, just to get some attention. But, here is the fact about heartbreak (yes, I undoubtedly said that it is a fact): it was never once, never is, and will never be about being more heartbroken than the other. There was never any level in a heartbreak. First, it is simply about having experienced it or not. Second, it is about how I get along with the heartbreak.

“Get along” with the heartbreak, because it would never really go, you just get along with it eventually. There was a time where I felt like all kinds of heartbreaks in my life were poured and mixed into one particular moment (hi, Melissa :) if you’re reading this, you know what I mean) and I needed to cry all over again whenever I thought about this moment. But then, there was also this time (actually just a few days ago), where I talked to Melissa, the one that was there when (almost) everything happened, and realized, I just survived hell. Both are examples of “getting along”, but the second one is the kind of “getting along” I prefer to perform and also about which I learned to perform.

Now that I think about it, comparing myself to others, or comparing my heartbreaks to others, was probably a resulting act of not being loved at all. I wasn’t looking for love and attention, I was craving for them. It was approximately when the battle inside me got passionately deranged when I understood that I was the one who can provide myself love and attention. I also couldn’t stand listening to anything anyone was saying, but, of course, I wouldn’t even listen to myself. It all started inside me. Man, how did I miss it.


Time doesn’t heal. But time often brings with it acceptance and understanding, which I consider as the fundamentals of healing. Heartbreak is wild and insane, the moments you thought it’s going to be over are the moments it get doubled and wilder and more insane. You’re doing great, people. Let’s give ourselves a little affection, love and ice cream.

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